We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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