the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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