its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
