is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
