My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
