SEEEEXXX PLEASE
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize