i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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