how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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