my mouth tastes like poor choices
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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