Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
