um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
