if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
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I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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