I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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