hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
