You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
no you cant smoke seaweed
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
