Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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