I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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