high people should be assigned attendants
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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