you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize