the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
