I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
