dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
