I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
