I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
