ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
