I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
