So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
