...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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