Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.