He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...