No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money