is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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