Please, let me fuck your mom
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
