Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
