whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
