Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
