Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
