Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My liver just broke up with me...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
