4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
