My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
