I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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