Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
