So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize