Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize