Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
