the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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