life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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