and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here