Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.