their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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