So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
