I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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