I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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