I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
