I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
