I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
