ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
