Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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