trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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