real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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