He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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