i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My liver just had a heart attack.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
