I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
