If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
where are my eyebrows?
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