but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
