she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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