things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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