he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
