Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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